field notes: to be creative in treacherous times
“If you've ever wondered what you'd do during slavery, the holocaust, or the Civil Rights movement, you're doing it right now.”
Welcome to field notes, my casual blogging platform within my Substack Messy Dialectic. If you are looking for refined essays and discourse, check here for the latest posts. If you love rambling, brain dumps, and chit-chats about life experiences, then continue reading on.
Hmmm. I write all of my pieces well in advance, and I wrote this not knowing that the future held even more war and turmoil. I wrote this originally with ICE and other domestic issues going on, but with what has transpired over the past few days, I think that the message stated in this piece is even more relevant.
When I was in college, I was quite an avid protestor. Even more so, I was a protest photographer with a cheap DSLR equipped with a powerful lens and secret dreams of going into journalism as a photographer. When I learned that the military had photography roles (and continued to get nonstop recruitment emails due to my high grades and indomitable desire to succeed at college LOL), I even considered enlisting to do important photographical work in that manner.
Nowadays, I am much more chronically ill and also in a climate much warmer and less hospitable than the crisp, cool air of the northeast. I personally do not have the gusto to be out in the streets, yelling for justice like I used to, so I choose to optimize my protesting efforts online with boosting, sharing, and even with writing and creating. I know that my audience is still small, but I know that by adding my own non-problematic noise into the airwaves of the internet (which is filled with a lot of problematic nonsense from right wing folks) I am able to contribute to a better world online and offline.
I know that by working diligently on my books that I one day expect to publish, I am providing fodder for a better, more diverse world of authors as a Black woman. I am working on my social media marketing game as a unique, “alt” Black woman knowing that I can create a special community and corner of the internet perfect for other quirky, nerdy Black women like myself.
I am finding that it’s hard to create art/be creative/write/etc. especially when you’re weaving together worlds of optimism and utopia in today’s climate. I am writing a grandiose Black romance novel as my life is under the backdrop of an encroaching fascist regime, and as I write my philosophical/dialectical pieces online, I think of how regimes always start by harming the academics, trusted sources, and general smart folks of the population. I think about myself and all of the other lovely thinkers on Substack, for instance, and think of how we’re all targets for censorship and oppression as we all sit here writing our nice pieces on this website that, for better or for worse, is committed to completely free speech (for now). I think of how quickly all of that could change, as everything has been changing quite rapidly under our idiot in chief’s command.
I mean, hell, a month from now I might have to scrub away the fact that I typed “idiot in chief”. You might revisit this piece and see giant redacted blocks like this ██ █████ ████ ██ because it turns out that we suddenly can’t say stuff like that without facing persecution anymore. Anything is possible when the Constitution is being treated like a big fat joke.
*sigh*
I think a lot of thoughts on this notion of how we are possibly going to build the world that we hope to live in, but my pessimism kicks in as I see folks pedestalize those who make the best mediocre recreation of something that was already great in the name of getting cool points, and those who are truly all in the game for themselves. We can all be changemakers, but the call for change is always spelled out as such a tall ass order that it keeps people thinking that they can’t be a beacon for pure good, so then people get worn out and do nothing instead. There isn’t as much emphasis placed on simply creating space or taking up space and how much good that does us all as a collective. It’s frustrating.
This was all just a quick, free flowing vent/rant on the awful things going on societally right now. It’s so upsetting because I have a lot of high hopes for society and where we could be, and I try to stay optimistic, but shit is getting insane and I’m just trying to create so that I can add my own balm to a hurting, aching world. I recognize that the world needs art during the revolution, and I recognize that my creation can fuel the rest and relaxation of those who have the gusto to be out on the front lines and put their bodies on the line.
I just want to do my part, no matter how small, to help get us out of this conservative, extremist hellscape.